between god and the agnostic

scene: sa harap ng computer.

diyos: huy, ano't nakatanga ka jan?
agnostic: (medyo nagulat pa) ah, nag-iisip ng isusulat sa blog.
diyos: write about our conversation now.
agnostic: yeah, i think that's what i should do. what's up?
diyos: the ceiling
agnostic: pansin mo di na naman ako nagdadasal?
diyos: onga, okay ka na naman?
agnostic: konting-konti na lang. i'll be very fine soon.
diyos: you went through a lot.
agnostic: oh do tell.
diyos: kumusta ka?
agnostic: hayy, i'm not very sure. though i slept better last night, at medyo madami kinain ko ngayong araw na to. mamaya munngo at paksiw ulit.
diyos: minsan kamo nakakatawa ka. one day you're ok, the next day you're not, tapos sasabihin mo na naman ok ka. sabi mo din, you only talk to me when you have problems. but now you're talking to me again.
agnostic: eh, ikaw kaya ang unang bumati.
diyos: onga, alam ko kasing gusto mo makipag-usap pero nasa denial ka pa.
agnostic: hah-hah, denial ka dyan!! wala lang akong sasabihin talaga. ikaw baka meron.
diyos: just some thoughts.
agnostic: fire away.
diyos: narinig ko kwento mo kay nina. narinig ko din mga sinabi nya sayo. i'm glad that kahit papano nakakatulong talaga ako sayo kahit di ka masyado naniniwala at kahit everytime kausap mo ko eh lingon ka ng lingon kung may makakakita sayong nagdadasal.
agnostic: yeah, there's a psychological dimension to praying kasi. tama naman di ba? pucha, akala mo ba madali makipag-usap sa hangin, mag-isip na merong totoong nakikinig sakin. i look like a fool when i pray. but somehow, like i said, praying is actually talking to oneself, isip ko rin ang sumsagot sa mga tanong ko. if at all, you, the god, exist inside me.
diyos: diyos ka din? ganon?!
agnostic: haha, hindi siguro kasi walang mga nagdadasal sa kin.
diyos: ang kaibahan kasi pag nakikipag-usap ka sakin it really makes you feel na may kasama ka. somehow, you don't feel alone, and it helps to think that the realizations that come to you as you pray actually came from an enlightened one. i just don't know how it's going to affect you later, head person ka kasi talaga, sa halip na tanggapin mo na lang na may diyos na sumasagot sayo, eto at nagra-rationalize ka na naman kung totoo ako o hindi.
agnostic: sino ko diyos? i mean, what do you call me?
diyos: si agnostic.
agnostic: need i say more?.... pero diyos, nagtatampo ka ba na i doubt if there's really a god? what does that make you feel na naaalala lang kita during times like this.
diyos: ang sabi ng mga nagtuturo ng relihiyon mo nagagalit ako. na utos ko sa inyo na magdasal kayo sakin. but you know, i don't really mind if you don't pray. i just want people to love, respect and care for one another. people never prayed before. for some people, and they are many, i don't even exist. pero kaya naman ng mga tao na maging mabuti sa isa't-isa kahit wala ako.
agnostic: eh kasi daw may incentive pag nagmahal ka ng kapwa ng dahil sa diyos. the life after death, you know that stuff. yung konsepto ng heaven na masaya, maganda, peaceful.
diyos: bakit kailangang kong pangakuan ang mga tao ng magandang buhay pagkatapos mamatay? bakit kailangang parang bata ang mga tao na bibigyan mo ng kendi pag nagpakabait. bakit kailangang takutin na masususunog sa impyerno ang kaluluwa ng masasama?
agnostic: ahhh, diyos...eh, shouldn't i be asking that, at dapat ikaw ang nagbibigay ng sagot? that's what led me to being agnostic di ba?
diyos: aba onga ano, hehe, agnostic na din yata ako.
agnostic: haha, welcome to the club.
diyos: sira! sige ka la ka pagdadasalan pag may problema ka ulit.
agnostic but you know, i thought of it just now, mahirap yata din yung gusto mo na love, repsect and care lang.... kasi may ibang human emotions eh. may anger, sadness, hatred, jealousy. parang mas marami ngang negative emotions kesa postive eh. come to think of it.
diyos: onga. that comes with the need to survive, actually. imaginin mo agnostic, kunyari there's something you really want or need for yourself, pero nag-iisa lang yon sa mundo. tapos other people want it or need it for themselves too. anong gagawin mo? kung love and care and happiness, pareho-pareho kayo na ibibigay nyo sa isa't-isa. eh di masaya kayo na naibigay nyo, pero, yung isa who got it ang magpapasaya sa kanya eh yung maibigay din yun sa for the same reasons. anong mangyayari?
agnostic: wala ng makakaangkin nong bagay na yon.
diyos: precisely.
agnostic: eh di hiraman na lang.
diyos: oo nga no. yeah, yeah, why not.
agnostic: BECAUSE hindi ganon ang human nature. masyadong hypothetical eh.
diyos: oh, so now you're talking. you should realize by this time that because of human nature and with all the emotions that make you human imposibleng walang malulungkot o masasaktan.
agnostic: hey, this isn't about me, is it?
diyos: yes, it is. you are at this time still upset somehow over something. it's not making you happy. so you gotta do something to get over it and survive.
agnostic: pero may iba namang maaapektuhan.
diyos: eh ganon nga eh. unless na okay sayo ikaw yon. can you take it?
agnostic: hmmm. god, i really don't believe this. are you suggesting that i be bad?
diyos: (a chuckle). i'm not saying you should be bad. i'm saying you should do something to survive.
agnostic: nicely put. i like that. hmmm, okay, i'll be bad.
diyos: makulit talaga lahi mo. survive! not be bad.
agnsotic: pareho din yon diyos, i'll do something to survive and people will think i'm bad. what difference does it make?
diyos: the difference lies in how people would take your actions. it depends on where they're coming from.
agnostic: pero ganon din syempre rationalization ng ibang tao. i mean, they would also justify yung actions nila. and they would also say na they're not bad, just trying to survive at bahala na ang ibang tao sa buhay nila kung ano gusto isipin.
diyos: indeed. so what's your worry?
agnostic: may mga masaapektuhan ako. do i want that?
diyos: hay naku, di ka pwedeng sumali sa Starstruck. you can't dream, believe, survive.
agnostic: tsaka 15-18 years old lang pwede don.
diyos: palit kaya tayo ng lugar, masyado kang mabait. daig mo pa ang diyos. ako na lang sa pwesto mo. ikaw dito. AKO NA LANG SASALI STARSTRUCK!!!!