read at your own risk


Tuesday, June 13, 2006

june 12

happy birthday
happy anniversary
happy independence day

Thursday, June 01, 2006


hiv/aids like human rights does not discriminate. anyone can have it regardless of age, sex, class, civil status, religion, political belief, or what have you.

there are four major modes of transmission, through blood (90% chances), sexual intercourse (up to 1%), injecting drug use (10%) and mother-to-child before, during and after birth (up to 50%). but sexual intercourse remains the most common mode, heterosexual intercourse tops the list, then homosexual, followed by bisexual.

hiv can be found in all body fluids but only four kinds have been found to have enough concentration that can cause transmission, blood, seminal fluid, vaginal secretion and breastmilk.

you need to drink a bucketful (about 8 gallons) of saliva of an hiv+ person to contract hiv. but what kind of person can secrete that much saliva? and even if one can, by the time an hiv+ fills a bucket with his or her saliva the virus will be dead because it can only survive outside the body for so long.

and what foolish person would drink another person's saliva. yes, you can say yuck.

can you share spoons, plates, glasses or even toilet with an hiv+? sure you can. what you have to watch out for are the opportunistic infections or diseases that are contagious, such as tuberculosis or pneumonia. but regardless whether a person is hiv+ or not, he or she can have contagious infections.

can you have sex with an hiv+ person? yeisss, there are safe ways of having sex. well, fyi only. you dont have to try it, not even with a non-carrier.

it is said that in islamic countries there is low account of hiv infection. this is more because of the culture of silence. it does not necessarily mean that they are less susceptible to the virus. lack of information is not tantamount to lack of infection.

must we be afraid of hiv+ people? no. they're just as human as we are.

is it always their fault that they have the virus? uhhh, it can be a tricky question... i think that depends from person to person. some people, even if they have enough and correct information, still engage in risky behaviours. but for many (and by many we're talking of millions), they have the virus either because they lacked the correct information and did not know how to prevent it; they were born with it; the virus was forcibly given to them. sad no?

so wherever you go, take this with you as an additional protection, even if according to UNAIDS, hiv infections have peaked in the 1990s and have already stabilised after 25 years, but remains an 'exceptional threat' nonetheless.

pasalubong!!!! :-)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

happy birthday

this year's is unmistakeably the happiest birthday i had in all of my 25, er, 26...okay, okay 32 (toink!!) years on earth. i usually let my birthday pass without a fuss, any celebration is obligatory on my part in exchange for the greetings that come either a few minutes or seconds before my birthday or first thing in the morning when i wake up. last year it was richie who greeted me around 4 am. this year yhen was with me through texts minutes before 12 midnight. my best friend holds the record, she greeted me two months ahead so she wouldn't forget.

this year's is entirely different from the years that passed, especially last year's. last year i made sure i was home from davao on my birthday so i could celebrate it with a loved one only to be stunned with an ironic revelation that the person i wanted to be with did not want me around. geeez!!! and the rest is history..herstory.

this time around i was in davao conducting a training. i thought that getting busy (reeaaallly busy) on that day would obscure any sad and tragic memories of the previous birthday that might resurface. luckily for me, none of last year's entered my mind. one, i was too busy. two, it was one hell of a birthday that i am just so glad i have finally put behind me now.

this year, i celebrated my birhtday with more strangers that friends. at first, only four or five people knew i was turning 32 (hah!!) but my boss revealed it to everyone. so instead of them singing to me, they made me sing to myself. and i did it with so much gusto. when i came back to manila i didn't wait for my colleagues to goad me to treat them, i immediately told them we're going to celebrate.

in a way, it's a display of appreciation on my part. not for being born but for their being with me the whole time last year that i was in tremendous emotional stress; for the respect when i chose to be silent; for the listening ears when i was ready to talk, and for the shoulders when i wanted to, wail.

memories of last year do come by every now and then, they're already imprinted in my memory bank. the emotions....uhm, they're now reasons for me to smile. the experience... lessons to guide me along the way.

i know i've never thanked everyone who helped me go through last year's sticky situation i was in. i did really wait for this day, my birhtday as all of last year's sad memories turned one year.... no... today i stop thinking of it as sad or tragic or difficult.

thanks.... kahlil, richie, i., jocey, malou, yhen, kasoy, burns, xty, sascha, noel, baby, jay, another jay, manang, vee, zone, thony, agnes, phobel, eboy, e., kips, elisa, dave, ronald, .... to others whose names i'd rather not mention.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

moving pictures

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


the view

bonding time


dad didn't want to join the game because it was good friday but we had an excuse, he was drinking with the owner of the resort. mom went with us, a spectator at first, later she started coaching kai, much, much later she got her own stick, good shots with every turn

click here masbate rocks!!!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


underneath piles of magazines and work-related documents i found a long lost letter which transported me back to a not-so-distant past. it was a prolific letter, a good fictional material. had not been the letter about me and had i not known the author i would give it a two-thumbs up for its mind-boggling yet hard-hitting plot.

looking back it was maddening. the letter depicted me as desperate, delusional, obsessed, paranoid, manic, manipulative. anyone not privy to the events that were taking place the time the letter was written would ask what was i doing outside a mental asylum, that i was a dangerous person better locked in isolation. the letter vilified me line after line after line after line....

i dont know which is which, was it a work of fiction about a non-fictional character which happened to be me? or was it a non-fiction about a fictional character? whatever it was, it did not serve the real purpose why there was that letter in the first place. it might have served the author. whether he was successful or not is beside me now. between the lines, however, certain truths could be extracted, not about me but about the author.

one's propensity to prevaricate the truth can bring out the literary prowess of a person. if it's talent i wish i had it. alas, i do not possess such fertile imagination and illusion to depict a person so remote from his or her true character.

in hindsight, the letter could well destroy me, my dignity. yes, my pride was bruised but i was able to redeem my dignity. such an effort exerted to put me down and here i am standing still. such extent to ruin my reputation and i gained more respect from others. such lies about me and my true self was revealed. i'm glad i am not one wont to succumb to the temptation of distorting the truth. had i done such i would be rid of self-respect and never regain it, for if it is of my own doing then no one else can give it back to me.

the letter also taught me compassion. sigh, sad are the people who need to resort to telling lies about other people in an attempt to exalt themselves.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

hiv/aids seminar workshop

kwela ang dalawang serye ng hiv/aids seminar na ginawa namin in the last two weeks. kwela in a sense na iba-iba personality ng mga taong um-attend, although i'm already familiar with most of them kasi mga dati nang nagpa-participate sa trainings namin it was only during that time that i was able to mingle with them kahit ako pa rin ang punong abala.

kwela na kahit marami sa kanila ay nagkakakila-kilala na last year sa VAW and Human Rights training eh ngayon lang sila nagkaroon ng chance na makapagkwentuhan ng matatagal at masyadong personal. siguro kasi may usaping sexuality itong sa HIV/AIDS at pati kung sino-sino ang gumagamit ng condom eh nahalukay during the discussions.

at kahit ako ang organizer cum trainor cum coordinator cum contact person cum lcd/laptop operator cum facilitator cum finance manager cum exercise guru cum videographer cum nanay ni kakai ng seminar na yon eh nagawa ko pang tandaan ang mga persnalidad ng karamihan sa kanila.

1. si m1 - sa lahat ng in-attendan nya saming activities lagi syang may problema o bagahe na dala. with all due respect to her, parang sya yung taong kakambal ang kunsumisyon.

2. g - datihan na din, sya ang crush ng bayan tuwing may activity ang wiseact, sya kasi ang single at most gender sensitive male, (hindi pseudo, hindi quasi). akala mo tahimik pero may kakulitan din...ay, hindi pala. makulit pala talaga.

3. y - twice na syang naka-attend ng training namin, twice na rin na buntis syang nag-attend, twice na syang nagkikwento ng interesting nyang love(less)life

4. n - kamukha sya ni mirage sa 'the incredibles', center of attraction or distraction ang kanyang buhok at ang makapal na eyeglasses. may pagka over-acting kung minsan pero ang di alam ng marami eh loaded sya ng stress dahil sa kanyang breast cancer. so yung mga bad trip sa pagkapakialamera nya eh pinatawad na sya.

5. l - l for lesbian. sya ang lesbianang magaling maglagay ng condom sa t*** (dildo lang naman). ang catch? ang condom galing sa bibig!!!

6. mv - gwapo, matalino, malinis, inquisitive, provocative ang mga tanong at comments. safe sex practitioner. single and unattached at the moment. gay. future partner ko!!

7. or - pag tumingin sya sayo iisipin mong crush ka nya, pailalim, at as in titig ang ginagawa. tahimik at suplado. pero sakin obligado sya ngumiti.

8. r - the silent type, as in silent sya sa buong tatlong araw. intro at eval ko lang sya nadinig magsalita.

9. nl - mukang gambling lord, na corrupt na barangay captain, na taga-tagay ng gin sa kanto, yosi buddy ko. mabait na asawa, at least sa kwento nya

10. d - supladita ang dating, para syang commercial model ng shampoo dahil laging hinahawi ang maganda nyang buhok. mababaw ang luha. kaibigan ni m1. aggressive in an empowered way; type si g. naglibre sa min ng beer.

11. mc - kalahating araw na nga lang nag-attend ng walang confirmation (at nanghingi pa ng kit!!) eh kini-question pa yung process namin. nag-concede naman sya bandang huli pero 15 minutos din nasayang sa kanya.

12. lw - devil's advocate ever, mandatory hiv testing daw para sa lahat ng pinoy, bata, matanda, girl, boy, bakla, tomboy. boss sya sa kanila pero mas malalim pa ang mga tanong ni brosia sa pugad baboy kesa sa mga tanong nya. namimilosopo na lang talaga at sanay na ako na hinahamon nya lagi kung gano ko kaalam pinagsasabi ko. lusot naman ako lagi.

13. rr - too good to be true. sa simula ng seminar eh lagi syan nagre-remark na may positive sa mga participants, sa itsura pa lang daw alam na tapos sa isang activity na kailangan nilang i-identify sino positive sa mga binigay naming pictures eh di daw niya mapili because he couldn't tell from the looks alone. haller!!! kala nya di ko nadinig earlier remarks nya.

14. j - another gender-sensitive guy, tahimik, minsan lang magsalita, eager lagi matuto. na-frustrate sya na di na-meet expectation nyang malaman ang symptoms ng HIV. haller ulit, sinabi na ngang asymptomatic nga ang HIV eh. sus.

at the end of the seminar textmates na sila lahat. at like ko sila lahat.