i'm more than a decade older than sascha. we have different interests. she has her own circle of friends, i have mine. prior to the ordeal last year i considered her just an acquaintance. i didn't think we'd have anything in common, and if we would be friends it would be circumstantial rather than a result of an effort from our part to initiate friendship. if at all, i had even thought that i would actually have an ax to grind with her(woman's intution).
i have looked forward to that moment alone with her. we've had many times together but were never alone. yesterday when she asked if i had time for coffee i didn't think twice. funny thought occured to me right after i said yes. why not, sascha after all is a significant person to me. i wondered if i'd feel awkward, or if she'd feel awkward to me. was i denying to myself that i have a secreted animosity towards her? what would we talk about? would we compare notes?
i decided i'd play it by ear, although i was 100% certain i'd love to have coffee with her; 100% sure that whatever happened between us (was it really between us?) is now water under the bridge. perhaps i was more concerned with our sincerity to each other, to the friendship with a rather bizarre beginning.
i arrived at gloria jeans, half an hour late. i don't remember if she was smiling. as soon i took my seat there was no self-conscious exchange of pleasantries. we just started to chat, as if we've both been there for over an hour already. i felt comfortable and i sensed that she did too. we talked about people, books, people, ideas, people, feelings, people. and if you are curious to know whether we talked about us. yes. did we talk about "them"? yes. him? yes. but we're decent women,so we didn't compare notes.
everything came naturally. there was no agenda set, we just tried to catch up with the developments in our separate lives. we laughed a lot. at times when the topic strayed to 'them' which was of course unavoidable, we would furrow our brows. and if we did talk about 'him' it was not exactly about him but about me and her. sure there's still pain, but the pains are gradually going away. she said it was one great stupidity that she did. and i laughed. i also admitted that i haven't really gotten completely over what has happened. but we both know that in time, when we'd look back to 2005 we'd give each other a pat on the back.
we proceeded to snackaroo for dinner. there we met up with kakai who was unusually talkative. and surprisingly brought 'him' up in our conversation. he asked what i'd do if i see 'him' again. i smiled and then i told him to ask sascha the same question. i thought, he looked perplexed. or maybe it was just an illusion. i can't remember if i had told him where she fit in the puzzle. but he did ask anyway. and he smiled at her retort.
it was truly a night i would always remember. i was happy. i was grateful to her. i was sure we were both sincere in our new-found friendship.
not many people would have the courage to approach an irate and cheated woman, especially if you're one of those who cheated her. i laud her for her honesty and humility. my ordeal was less unbearable because of what she did. i know that she was also hurting but she chose to do something not for herself but for me. she may be much younger than i am but she's displayed a sense of maturity that people her age, or even older, do not possess.
thanks sascha. it's great knowing you. the circumstances how we started becoming friends are odd. but i dare not say that if we have to do it all over again i hope the situation is different.
see you in march.
