happy birthday

this year's is unmistakeably the happiest birthday i had in all of my 25, er, 26...okay, okay 32 (toink!!) years on earth. i usually let my birthday pass without a fuss, any celebration is obligatory on my part in exchange for the greetings that come either a few minutes or seconds before my birthday or first thing in the morning when i wake up. last year it was richie who greeted me around 4 am. this year yhen was with me through texts minutes before 12 midnight. my best friend holds the record, she greeted me two months ahead so she wouldn't forget.

this year's is entirely different from the years that passed, especially last year's. last year i made sure i was home from davao on my birthday so i could celebrate it with a loved one only to be stunned with an ironic revelation that the person i wanted to be with did not want me around. geeez!!! and the rest is history..herstory.

this time around i was in davao conducting a training. i thought that getting busy (reeaaallly busy) on that day would obscure any sad and tragic memories of the previous birthday that might resurface. luckily for me, none of last year's entered my mind. one, i was too busy. two, it was one hell of a birthday that i am just so glad i have finally put behind me now.

this year, i celebrated my birhtday with more strangers that friends. at first, only four or five people knew i was turning 32 (hah!!) but my boss revealed it to everyone. so instead of them singing to me, they made me sing to myself. and i did it with so much gusto. when i came back to manila i didn't wait for my colleagues to goad me to treat them, i immediately told them we're going to celebrate.

in a way, it's a display of appreciation on my part. not for being born but for their being with me the whole time last year that i was in tremendous emotional stress; for the respect when i chose to be silent; for the listening ears when i was ready to talk, and for the shoulders when i wanted to cry...no, wail.

memories of last year do come by every now and then, they're already imprinted in my memory bank. the emotions....uhm, they're now reasons for me to smile. the experience... lessons to guide me along the way.

i know i've never thanked everyone who helped me go through last year's sticky situation i was in. i did really wait for this day, my birhtday as all of last year's sad memories turned one year.... no... today i stop thinking of it as sad or tragic or difficult.

thanks.... kahlil, richie, i., jocey, malou, yhen, kasoy, burns, xty, sascha, noel, baby, jay, another jay, manang, vee, zone, thony, agnes, phobel, eboy, e., kips, elisa, dave, ronald, .... to others whose names i'd rather not mention.